Kaiden may be the stronger choice, but Ashley isn't without her merits. Those who are looking for more character development and growth would be better off saving Ashley, especially if Shepard is romancing her.
By the time of Mass Effect 3 , Ashley has undergone a modicum of personal growth. In the first game, Ashley is incredibly xenophobic, and her dislike of alien cultures and beings is made more than clear. She doesn't like working with the aliens aboard the Normandy and she can be downright judgmental to the point of cruel if given the chance. She has an intense hatred for Cerberus , though, which rubs against her prejudice in a strange way.
Cerberus and the Illusive Man tend to be all about the survival and advancement of humanity above all else, but that doesn't sit well with Ashley. Perhaps it was seeing the extreme actions Cerberus took for the sake of humanity that started to change her mind. By the time the third game rolls around, especially if she's been hanging out with a Paragon Shepard, she's been through and seen enough devastation that alien lives start to matter to her in ways even she didn't think possible -- especially the crew of the Normandy.
If one of those roles is already being filled in Shepard's team, then they aren't entirely necessary to keep around. Squad composition is important in all of the Mass Effect games, but biotic and soldier roles can be taken by other members of Shepard's team.
Aside from combat, consider which character is more in line with Shepard's goals. If the player is going for a renegade run where Shepard is untrusting of other races, they might consider keeping Ashley around as she is also wary of anyone other than humans. While Kaidan can also be persuaded into being more xenophobic, he starts the game more in line with the paragon belief of unity among species. Both characters are romance options for each Shepard of the opposing gender, so if the player is looking to keep more options around in terms of romance, they can choose whoever might be attracted to them.
Choosing Paragon options in conversation with Ashley, for example, can steer her away from her initial prejudice towards the Normandy's alien crewmembers, and will help her begin to get over her grandfather's legacy as the first human to surrender to the Turians during the First Contact War.
In contrast, picking Renegade dialogue when talking to Kaiden will make him more pro-human, despite his initial instinct that humanity still needs to earn its place on the Citadel Council.
Initial interest can be expressed with both potential romances, but neither romances go much further until after Virmire. If a male Shepard saves Kaiden, the squadmate also becomes a romance option in the third game.
After two years believing Shepard is dead, the player will be reunited with Ashley or Kaiden on Horizon. When they meet again, both potential Virmire survivors will be pleased to see Shepard, but hesitant about them working with Cerberus. As per usual, Ashley's admonishment is more forthright, while Kaiden is more reserved.
If romanced in the first game, both their relief at Shepard's survival and their anger at Cerberus will be more extreme. The Virmire survivor will email Shepard after the encounter, apologizing for their harshness and asking them to be careful. If Kaiden died on Virmire, a Galactic News snippet can reveal that the Alenko Memorial Fund was set up in his honor to help children who, like Kaiden, were exposed to element zero and developed biotic powers.
When you play through the mission on Virmire in Mass Effect , you'll be facing a couple of choices with lasting consequences. Not only will you have to wrangle Wrex to keep him alive and on your side, but you'll have to decide which of two squadmates you permanently lose — Ashley or Kaidan. The decision you make will impact not only Mass Effect but both sequels as well.
If you're trying to decide which character to save and which to sacrifice, we've put together a short guide on the consequences of each decision. Once you reach the Salarian camp on Virmire, Captain Kirrahe will ask for one of your team to accompany him to divert the Geth's attention away from your own team.
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